Date: February 21, 2010
Time: 21:15
Place: Home
I am going to be 45 years old next week. These are the things I wish I could do on my birthday:
1) Take the day off!
2) Go to Midtown Comics and buy stuff.
3) Go to Jim Hanley's Universe and buy stuff
4) Call DoctorWhoStore.com and buy stuff.
5) Go to a restaurant like Red Lobster and celebrate with a good meal.
6) Kiss a woman I really like, and get kissed back by her.
Unfortunately, with my present job, the first 5 are out, and with my batting record with women, so is #6.
Happy Birthday to me.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I go on
Time: 14:44
Date: December 30, 2009
Place: Work
I am writing this from the place I can't stand most in the world.
I was put in an awkward position today and it is not the first time.
I am sick and tired of what goes on in this place.
Unfortunately, every time I voice my feelings, I am given the same, monotonous line:
"You should feel lucky you have a job, a lot of people are out of work."
Let me make this very clear right now:
I DON'T BLOODY CARE!
Those people need a job, fine, they can have mine because I have had it with this place! I am disgusted with the long hours, for which I now no longer get paid as the company is in the toilet when it comes to finances, and the little pay I sometimes get, $10 per hour.
I know I've said this before elsewhere, but I can't stipulate or iterate this enough, I am not meant to be doing this job, I still believe I am meant to be doing something else.
I'm just not sure what that is!
Date: December 30, 2009
Place: Work
I am writing this from the place I can't stand most in the world.
I was put in an awkward position today and it is not the first time.
I am sick and tired of what goes on in this place.
Unfortunately, every time I voice my feelings, I am given the same, monotonous line:
"You should feel lucky you have a job, a lot of people are out of work."
Let me make this very clear right now:
I DON'T BLOODY CARE!
Those people need a job, fine, they can have mine because I have had it with this place! I am disgusted with the long hours, for which I now no longer get paid as the company is in the toilet when it comes to finances, and the little pay I sometimes get, $10 per hour.
I know I've said this before elsewhere, but I can't stipulate or iterate this enough, I am not meant to be doing this job, I still believe I am meant to be doing something else.
I'm just not sure what that is!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Date: December 23, 2009
Time: 00:19
Place: Home
It's been a really long time since I've made any entries, and after a conversation with a colleague, and a small fit of panic, I've decided to write something.
I am afraid.
That's right, I'm afraid.
"But," I hear you ask, "of what are you afraid?"
Many things.
I am afraid of death, and I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid of closing my eyes to sleep for fear of never opening them again. I'm afraid of being rejection. I'm afraid of being rejected by people I want to be friends with. I'm afraid of being rejected by women I want to not only be friends with, but have a relationship with. I'm afraid of anything I submit for publication of being rejected. I'm afraid or being rejected when I apply for a job.
I'm afraid of being left alone and of being alone. Now I'm somewhat used to doing things by myself, but it would be nice to share those things with someone, preferably female.
And I'm afraid I probably wrote about all of this before.
Now, since I have written all of this out, do I feel any better?
No, I do not.
Time: 00:19
Place: Home
It's been a really long time since I've made any entries, and after a conversation with a colleague, and a small fit of panic, I've decided to write something.
I am afraid.
That's right, I'm afraid.
"But," I hear you ask, "of what are you afraid?"
Many things.
I am afraid of death, and I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid of closing my eyes to sleep for fear of never opening them again. I'm afraid of being rejection. I'm afraid of being rejected by people I want to be friends with. I'm afraid of being rejected by women I want to not only be friends with, but have a relationship with. I'm afraid of anything I submit for publication of being rejected. I'm afraid or being rejected when I apply for a job.
I'm afraid of being left alone and of being alone. Now I'm somewhat used to doing things by myself, but it would be nice to share those things with someone, preferably female.
And I'm afraid I probably wrote about all of this before.
Now, since I have written all of this out, do I feel any better?
No, I do not.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Step 2?
Date: Sunday, July 5, 2009
Time: 00:15
Place: Home
I have graduated from DeVry. I graduated Cum Laude, I received an award, and I now have a Bachelors' Degree in Business Administration.
Now I need to find a job that pays more than what I am now getting paid, $10 per hour, and will let me be creative, instead of being stifled at a construction contractor's office.
Time: 00:15
Place: Home
I have graduated from DeVry. I graduated Cum Laude, I received an award, and I now have a Bachelors' Degree in Business Administration.
Now I need to find a job that pays more than what I am now getting paid, $10 per hour, and will let me be creative, instead of being stifled at a construction contractor's office.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Date: Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Time: 22:01
Place: Home
Here is a paper I wrote for my Humanities Class. I am putting it here for all those that were unable to read it.
The Diary
Day 3:
Stopped at a freshwater spring I found. I brought more than 3 days worth of water, but when you come upon a spring like this, with clean, fresh water, you have to stop and drink some of it.
Day 15:
Found an area overgrown with flora, took longer than I thought to get through it all. Will rest for a bit and continue on tomorrow.
Day 35:
Found another overgrown area, but this one had edible fruit. Decided to take what I could carry.
Day 48:
Found a village, the first people I’ve seen since I started this, I guess you could call it a “quest”. They wouldn’t take money for the food I would eat. Seems my money wasn’t worth anything here anyway, so we bartered. I gave them some fruit, and told them the story that brought me here.
Day 53:
I’m still in the village, exchanging tall tales with the natives. The village elders told me the story that has been passed down from father to son over the last hundred years. It’s a story about sounds of screaming coming from the sky, and night turning into day. They ask me if I have any stories like that. I tell them the story of “Thirty Days of Night”. Since neither of us believes the other, it’s all in fun.
Day 63:
I left the village 10 days ago and have had to stop for a while. I keep hearing animal noises, but have yet to see any animals. Since I don’t particularly desire to be some beast’s meal, I’ll stay where I am until the noises stop.
Day 70:
The noises finally stopped yesterday afternoon. It was then that I saw what was making the noises, well, one of them at least. It was like no animal I had ever seen. It had a head, feet, tail and a body, but it looked like it had been turned inside out.
Day 95:
Time: 22:01
Place: Home
Here is a paper I wrote for my Humanities Class. I am putting it here for all those that were unable to read it.
The Diary
Day 3:
Stopped at a freshwater spring I found. I brought more than 3 days worth of water, but when you come upon a spring like this, with clean, fresh water, you have to stop and drink some of it.
Day 15:
Found an area overgrown with flora, took longer than I thought to get through it all. Will rest for a bit and continue on tomorrow.
Day 35:
Found another overgrown area, but this one had edible fruit. Decided to take what I could carry.
Day 48:
Found a village, the first people I’ve seen since I started this, I guess you could call it a “quest”. They wouldn’t take money for the food I would eat. Seems my money wasn’t worth anything here anyway, so we bartered. I gave them some fruit, and told them the story that brought me here.
Day 53:
I’m still in the village, exchanging tall tales with the natives. The village elders told me the story that has been passed down from father to son over the last hundred years. It’s a story about sounds of screaming coming from the sky, and night turning into day. They ask me if I have any stories like that. I tell them the story of “Thirty Days of Night”. Since neither of us believes the other, it’s all in fun.
Day 63:
I left the village 10 days ago and have had to stop for a while. I keep hearing animal noises, but have yet to see any animals. Since I don’t particularly desire to be some beast’s meal, I’ll stay where I am until the noises stop.
Day 70:
The noises finally stopped yesterday afternoon. It was then that I saw what was making the noises, well, one of them at least. It was like no animal I had ever seen. It had a head, feet, tail and a body, but it looked like it had been turned inside out.
Day 95:
I’ve reached my destination. I never thought I’d make it, but as I look at the landmark that tells me I’ve made it, I have to say, that even after a hundred years, now that the low ash levels means the air is breathable again, the Empire State Building is still an impressive site, even with the ivy growing all over it. But I can’t dawdle. I have some more to go before I reach the boat that will take me across the Atlantic River.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Date: Saturday, August 23, 2008
Time: 22:16
Place: Home
Just in case anyone is interested, that story I wrote in the Threaded Discussion Area was started when Professor Kinsley gave us the topic. That's right, I started writing it in class that very evening. But I didn't use pen and paper, or even pencil and paper, I was writing it in my head.
So by the time I got home, and finished it, it took me a little over an hour, maybe two hours, to write that story.
Time: 22:16
Place: Home
Just in case anyone is interested, that story I wrote in the Threaded Discussion Area was started when Professor Kinsley gave us the topic. That's right, I started writing it in class that very evening. But I didn't use pen and paper, or even pencil and paper, I was writing it in my head.
So by the time I got home, and finished it, it took me a little over an hour, maybe two hours, to write that story.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Date: Friday, August 22, 2008
Time: 17:20
Place: Work
Okay, I am sick and tired of reading, hearing, and seeing the date, September 11, 2001, being abbreivated as 9/11. I have felt this way ever since the first pundit starting referring to it in that way.
Why do we have to shorten things? Are we in that much of a hurry to say things that we abbreviate them?
I am sick of "Brangelina" "TomKat" and all the other mashed up names people feel they have to use. This is tantamount to "chatspeak", and I am sick and tired of it.
I'm surprised we don't hear newsreaders use 12/7 when talking about Pearl Harbor, or is that off-limits because it led to the United States entering into World War II? And while I'm on that topic, we keep hearing how people want September 11 turned into a national holiday of some sort. Why not "Pearl Harbor Day"? Oh no, can't suggest that. Or what about "Titanic Day"? Hm? Oh, wait, that should be 4/12, or TD.
enuff w/abbreviations!
Time: 17:20
Place: Work
Okay, I am sick and tired of reading, hearing, and seeing the date, September 11, 2001, being abbreivated as 9/11. I have felt this way ever since the first pundit starting referring to it in that way.
Why do we have to shorten things? Are we in that much of a hurry to say things that we abbreviate them?
I am sick of "Brangelina" "TomKat" and all the other mashed up names people feel they have to use. This is tantamount to "chatspeak", and I am sick and tired of it.
I'm surprised we don't hear newsreaders use 12/7 when talking about Pearl Harbor, or is that off-limits because it led to the United States entering into World War II? And while I'm on that topic, we keep hearing how people want September 11 turned into a national holiday of some sort. Why not "Pearl Harbor Day"? Oh no, can't suggest that. Or what about "Titanic Day"? Hm? Oh, wait, that should be 4/12, or TD.
enuff w/abbreviations!
Date: Friday, August 22, 2008
Time: 12:44
Place: Work
Yesterday, I found out that I was late with a project for another class, and I had to get it in before next week, or else lose the grade entirely.
By the time I got to it, and finished it, it was almost midnight, and I was so worn out, I just forgot to make an entry.
So here's one to make up for it, and I may, or may not have something for tonight.
Time: 12:44
Place: Work
Yesterday, I found out that I was late with a project for another class, and I had to get it in before next week, or else lose the grade entirely.
By the time I got to it, and finished it, it was almost midnight, and I was so worn out, I just forgot to make an entry.
So here's one to make up for it, and I may, or may not have something for tonight.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Date: Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Time: 15:19
Place: Work
I'll try and make this quick what with me being at work and all.
I may have stated in a previous post that I like old movies. One of the films I like to watch, especially during the holidays is "March of the Wooden Soldiers" with Laurel and Hardy. The story takes place in Toyland, Stan and Ollie are boarders with the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe, and work at the toy factory making special orders for Santa.
Stan gets an order mixed up, and as a result, 100 6-foot tall wooden soldiers are made.
These come in especially handy later in the film when Toyland is under attack by Silas Barnaby and his army of Boogiemen. For a while Stan and Ollie are able to fight the Boogiemen off by using clubs and darts. While in the toy warehouse, Ollie sends Stan for more darts. He sees the wooden soldiers and gets an idea.
When he comes back to Ollie he says "You know what?" To which Ollie replies, "What?" "The Wooden Soldiers"
Some years ago, when I worked at Prudential Financial, one of the guys on the day shift had also seen this movie more than a few times. When we discussed the hilarity of some scenes over others, we developed a method to test the other to see how alert each of us was at any given moment. One of us would say to the other "You know what?" to which the other one was to reply, "The Wooden Soldiers", we would then smile at each other, content with our cleverness, and continue working. If the proper reply was not given, doubts about that person's mental acuity were cast, and at volumes loud enough for those nearby to hear.
Time: 15:19
Place: Work
I'll try and make this quick what with me being at work and all.
I may have stated in a previous post that I like old movies. One of the films I like to watch, especially during the holidays is "March of the Wooden Soldiers" with Laurel and Hardy. The story takes place in Toyland, Stan and Ollie are boarders with the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe, and work at the toy factory making special orders for Santa.
Stan gets an order mixed up, and as a result, 100 6-foot tall wooden soldiers are made.
These come in especially handy later in the film when Toyland is under attack by Silas Barnaby and his army of Boogiemen. For a while Stan and Ollie are able to fight the Boogiemen off by using clubs and darts. While in the toy warehouse, Ollie sends Stan for more darts. He sees the wooden soldiers and gets an idea.
When he comes back to Ollie he says "You know what?" To which Ollie replies, "What?" "The Wooden Soldiers"
Some years ago, when I worked at Prudential Financial, one of the guys on the day shift had also seen this movie more than a few times. When we discussed the hilarity of some scenes over others, we developed a method to test the other to see how alert each of us was at any given moment. One of us would say to the other "You know what?" to which the other one was to reply, "The Wooden Soldiers", we would then smile at each other, content with our cleverness, and continue working. If the proper reply was not given, doubts about that person's mental acuity were cast, and at volumes loud enough for those nearby to hear.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Date: Saturday, August 16, 2008
Time: 23:11
Place: Home
When I have had the occasion to be in a relationship, invariably, it ends. When that happens I proceed to eliminate everything that connects me to that person. I get rid of phone numbers, addresses, any gifts I might have been given. I keep the memories because I can't help but remember things, but everything else, gone.
It's sort of like cleaning a crime scene before the police show up.
I was once admonished for doing that, but I explained that there was no need for me to hang on to any keepsakes. Once a relationship is over, it's done, finito, gone with the wind. No need for any physical reminders.
Therefore, once I am sure that I will not need any of the links, or folders, or any files that I have created during my time at DeVry, I will get rid of them. This goes for any books I feel I can get rid of as well.
True, this might be considered burning bridges, but like I said, "No need for physical reminders." That goes for files and folders, as well as books and notes.
Time: 23:11
Place: Home
When I have had the occasion to be in a relationship, invariably, it ends. When that happens I proceed to eliminate everything that connects me to that person. I get rid of phone numbers, addresses, any gifts I might have been given. I keep the memories because I can't help but remember things, but everything else, gone.
It's sort of like cleaning a crime scene before the police show up.
I was once admonished for doing that, but I explained that there was no need for me to hang on to any keepsakes. Once a relationship is over, it's done, finito, gone with the wind. No need for any physical reminders.
Therefore, once I am sure that I will not need any of the links, or folders, or any files that I have created during my time at DeVry, I will get rid of them. This goes for any books I feel I can get rid of as well.
True, this might be considered burning bridges, but like I said, "No need for physical reminders." That goes for files and folders, as well as books and notes.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Date: Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Time: 23:04
Place: Home
I was going to write something about my brother, what with this being his birthday and all, but now I don't feel like it.
Right now I feel as though I've wasted my life with jobs I don't like, schools I never wanted to attend, and women who were all wrong for me, but never wanted to admit that they were.
I know I've said it before, and quite frankly, I don't care, but I don't belong here. Not just at DeVry, not just where I'm working, but I don't belong in this world, and I mean this planet.
I'm beginning to believe that the mind that is inhabiting this particular body belongs somewhere else. I don't know where, I don't even know when, but not here, not now, and not to this being that's typing this garbage.
Time: 23:04
Place: Home
I was going to write something about my brother, what with this being his birthday and all, but now I don't feel like it.
Right now I feel as though I've wasted my life with jobs I don't like, schools I never wanted to attend, and women who were all wrong for me, but never wanted to admit that they were.
I know I've said it before, and quite frankly, I don't care, but I don't belong here. Not just at DeVry, not just where I'm working, but I don't belong in this world, and I mean this planet.
I'm beginning to believe that the mind that is inhabiting this particular body belongs somewhere else. I don't know where, I don't even know when, but not here, not now, and not to this being that's typing this garbage.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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