A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

Date: Sunday, July 13, 2008
Time: 23:31:38
Place: Home

Every once in a while (read that as “every waking moment”), I ask a question, “Where do I fit in?” What is it that I am meant to do with my life? But sometimes I wonder if I am meant to do anything with my life. Why can’t I figure out what I want to do for a living?
I think it may have something to do with the choices I make. I have a tendency to make the wrong ones more often than I make the right ones. The only trouble with making a right choice is I don’t think I’ve ever really made one. I’ve come to decisions, I’ve voiced ideas, and while it appears to be simple for me to choose what clothes to buy and wear, these are not life-altering choices.

I may have mentioned all of this in an earlier entry, but I think it bears repeating, and if the reader of this entry doesn’t think so, I don’t care.

When I was in Junior High, or, more specifically, Intermediate School, I was asked what I wanted to be after graduating high school. Simple enough question, but I had no simple answer. I didn’t know what I wanted to be, or to do. I had to put something, so I stupidly answered “Physicist”. My mother took one look at it, thought I was serious, and launched into a tirade as to how unlikely that career choice was. Stupid woman. Anyway, back to my fitting in. Just where is it, in the grand scheme of things, do I belong?

The only answer I have is, "I don't know."

I always feel as if I don't belong anywhere. I do a good job where I work, but I don't belong there, I feel I should be doing something else. I do well at school, but I don't belong there either.

I really wish someone could tell me where I'm supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. I am sick and tired of these tests with ridiculous answer choices, like you're asked a question, and of the two answers you have to pick either the one you would like to do the most or the one you would like to do the least, and the choices are so moronic as to be pitiful.

Why can't someone create a test that asks about a person's level of creativity?

Maybe they can't, they're probably too busy asking each other what they want to do least, stick with test that tells people nothing, or try something new.