Auntie Pandora

Date: Friday, August 1, 2008
Time: 19:45
Place: Home

I am a pessimist. For those that know me, this should come as no surprise, what they will be surprised at is the fact that I am admitting it. Although, I've never made a secret of being less than upbeat, or positive about a lot of things.

For instance, the recent goings on at my job. One day my boss calls me and says that "there's a light at the end of the tunnel." I replied, "Yeah, it's the headlights of an oncoming train." You know the old saw about the glass being half empty/half full? Well, in my world, the glass is half empty, the glass is cracked, and it's leaking, which is why it's half empty, the glass is dirty, and there's a film of some kind on the surface of the water. And, it's all the fault of the government.

Oh, and lately, there's some sort of bug floating in it.

Now, most people would tell me that all I have to do is hope for the best. That's fine, that's great advice, and it would work quite well, if I had any hope.

You all should know the story of Pandora, how she opened a box that contained all the evils of mankind, but that it also contained hope, and it was hope that got saved once she finally closed the box after opening it when she shouldn't have.

In my case, I don't know if I ever had any hope. I'm not sure if I had it, and then lost it along the way, or if I never had it in the first place, and falsely believed I had it, but then realized that I was wrong. All I do know is a lot of what has happened to me over the years is my own fault, I admit this freely and without reservation, but I need to find my way to where I belong.

Yeah, I know, you've heard this before, but face it, I don't care. I don't feel as if I fit in anywhere and now that I'm not sure if I ever had any hope of fitting in, or belonging, I need some help.

And all of the therapists in the world aren't going to do it either.