Date: Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Time: 22:48
Place: Home

In my last entry, I began asking nonsensical questions, and making nonsensical statements. This put me in mind of a speech that is supposed to be a parody of a normal speech. Unfortunately, I can't recall who wrote it, who said it, where I heard it, where I read it, or what the contents speech are.

There., don't you feel well-informed?

Unluckily for you, I plan on finding that speech if it kills you, especially after you've read it.

But, rather than leave you feeling empty, as though you've read this blog for nothing, I will share with you some differences in language, the English language.

If you were to walk into a store, or shop as they call it over in England, and ask for a pair of suspenders, depending on your gender, you might get a funny look. Well, it also depends on where the shop is located. You see, over there, what we call suspenders are referred to as braces, what they refer to as suspenders are what we call a garter belt.

A truck is a lorry.

A bus is a coach.

The Underground is what we call a Subway, and to them, a Subway is a walkway under the street.

A crosswalk is a zebra crossing (and they pronounce "zebra" with a short e as in the word "get")

An elevator is a lift.

And, in order to be considered a true "cockney" you must be born "within the sound of Bow's Bells". In other words, if you were born in the vicinity of Bow Church, meaning that when the bells were rung, they could be heard in the area you were born in.

In short, Dick Van Dyke is not a true cockney, and still has a price on his head if he were to ever wander into the East End.

Or so I've been told.